I wrote these two poems for N’s 50th birthday commemorative book, which you can find out more about here. 

The Sandwich Maker

I have never known a better sandwich maker.

The careful, loving labour of assembly.

Someone who cares so much about leaves.

And trees too. He loves them dearly.

Won’t name them, for fear of reduction.

Instead he feels them, for their individuality, for how they are doing today.

He does this with people too.

Feels them. Let’s them in. Allows them to grow.

He and his people have strong roots.

And now he feeds me:

Sandwiches, other things, buttery and soft,

feeds me his love,

feeds me things he wouldn’t touch himself

on the days when I most need sustenance;

days when he lets me hold his hand and weep,

then takes me for ice cream.

Our roots grow strong.

Waltzing

We travelled to Margate in search of art, beaches, and food,

a cornucopia of shells.

To rest and shoot the sea breeze.

To bathe in our company.

But instead what arrested us

was a thing in motion

tucked away in a dream

rickety as hell

soundtracked by Garage

and enthusiasm.

It lurched.

Then sped up. I remember we smiled at each other.

Innocently. Ironically even. Not knowing what was to come.

We bumped.

Twirled.

I think we were laughing.

More momentum gathered…

And somewhere down the line (I couldn’t say exactly when) we caught each others’ eyes

and recognised things we hadn’t expected moving in us:

Surprise – for sure. Joy – yes. Excitement – definitely. Fear – a little.

Uncertainty also – perhaps, the false endings didn’t help…

And the ride forced us to let go,

surrender to the forces

and bask in its relentlessness. 

——————————————————————–

Looking back,

I’m most grateful for

The centripetal force that held it all together.

Our first small circles:

Tentative messages. False starts. Bumps.

The teased endings we cheated

by spinning our threads back round each other.

That holds us now,

as we spin faster and wider.

Further afield and deeper:

Geographically

Exploratively

Supportively

Respectfully

Non-judgementally

Intimately.

And that has bound me

to a man who

loves with all his heart

wonders like a child

holds wisdom like a sage

and opens my spirit.

Never in my wildest dreams

did I know what spell I was incanting

when I whispered his name to the sea.